


didn't know you were golden 'til i tore your heart open

by inthehallway



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Archie is in love, Betty is in denial, Canon Compliant, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24083428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inthehallway/pseuds/inthehallway
Summary: The Archie Andrews she knows would never pack up and leave town without saying  goodbye, especially not to her. But maybe she just doesn’t know him as well as she thought anymore.Archie is leaving. Betty isn’t letting him go without a fight.
Relationships: Archie Andrews/Betty Cooper
Comments: 15
Kudos: 136





	didn't know you were golden 'til i tore your heart open

**Author's Note:**

> this takes place after what we haven't seen yet - prom, graduation, etc. everything that has happened on the show so far has happened here.
> 
> title is from ghosts by jeremy zucker

Betty Cooper graduated high school today.

A day that she’s looked forward to for years. A day that’s supposed to be filled with friendship, fulfillment, joy.

All she feels is miserable and alone.

Betty Cooper graduated high school today, and she doesn’t have a single person to enjoy it with.

Veronica hasn’t so much as glanced her way since the blowout at prom. Though Betty knows she’s hurt, she’s chosen to feign indifference to the situation. She acts like Betty doesn’t exist to her, never has, and Betty honestly can’t blame her. That doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Jughead isn’t any different. Betty is sure he hates her. She doesn’t even know where he’s staying, and she doesn’t ask. He hasn’t been at the house since he found out, at least not when she’s here. Part of her is glad, because she can’t bear the thought of having to face him. It’s already on a constant loop in her head – the look on his face when he asked her if it was true, the way he yelled at her, the tears pooling in his eyes. She broke his heart beyond repair, betrayed him, and she doesn’t know how to live with herself for it.

She’s avoiding Archie. It’s easier to ignore him than face him, too. To face what they’ve done. It’s definitely easier than facing how she feels. He tried to talk to her every day for a week after prom. Showed up at her house, at her locker. Called her multiple times a day, leaving voicemails pleading with her to just talk to him. He hasn’t tried in a few days, now. Maybe he’s finally given up. She caught him staring at her at the ceremony today, but she averted his gaze. She just needs time.

\--

Betty sits down at her desk with a sigh. She’s exhausted. Between prom, finals, and graduation, and everything that went down in between, she can’t even remember what it’s like to not feel drained constantly. She looks to the bulletin board in front of her. Taped up is her class schedule, reminders about upcoming exams, hall passes. Pictures of her and Jughead. All things she won’t be needing anymore.

She stares at the picture of her and Archie. She remembers the day it was taken so clearly. It was a few years ago, the day before she left for her summer internship. They had milkshakes at Pop’s, and then he came over to help her pack for the trip. He was the one who encouraged her to go for it, after all. Archie is smirking directly into the camera, while Betty is glancing sideways at him. She was always looking at him like he was the best thing she’d ever seen. He honestly was. They looked so innocent. They looked happy. That was before - before Veronica came to town, before she fell for Jughead, before their lives became such a fucking mess. When her biggest worry in life was whether Archie liked her back. She takes the photo down, holds it in her hands. Runs her thumb across Archie’s smile. Sometimes it feels like the people in this photo never even existed, like it’s a fantasy she made up in her mind. It was only three years ago, but it feels like a different lifetime.

“You okay?”

Betty looks up to see her mom standing in her doorway, a look on her face she knows all too well at this point. Pity.

“I’ll be fine, Mom,” she says, even though she doesn’t believe it’s the truth. She glances back at the photo in her hands. She wonders if Archie is fine, then pushes the thought away.

“I know this is all so hard, Betty. A chapter of your life is closing. And with everything that’s happened these past few weeks…”

Betty looks up at her, already feeling herself growing irritated with where this is going. The last thing she wants to do is talk about this with anyone, let alone her mother.

She glances down at the photo in Betty’s hands, and a look of understanding washes over her face. “It can’t be easy with Archie leaving so soon, either.”

Betty looks at her in confusion. Archie is leaving at the end of summer, just like the rest of them. “What are you talking about? He’s not leaving for a few months.”

Her mother furrows her brows, shaking her head a bit. “He’s leaving for the Naval Academy tomorrow.”

Betty doesn’t understand. “Mom, what are you even saying? There’s no way that’s true. He wouldn’t leave without telling anyone.” _He wouldn’t leave without telling me._

Her mother’s expression instantly shifts. Back to pity. “No... honey, I spoke to Mary briefly today at the graduation. She told me he’s leaving tomorrow.”

No. _No._ He wouldn’t leave without even saying goodbye. Despite everything that’s happened, she knows that’s true. Because she knows _him_. Archie would never do that. Her mother has to be wrong.

Betty gets up and steps to the window, pulls her curtains back slowly like she’s afraid of what she’ll see on the other side. She looks into the window across from hers like she has so many times before. There Archie is, right before her eyes, packing his room up. Her heart drops into her stomach.

He’s leaving.

She’s gone without another word.

\--

Betty doesn’t bother knocking, just walks through the side door into the Andrews house when she turns the knob and finds it unlocked. When they were eight years old, they spent every single day together over summer break, and Archie told her she didn’t need to knock when she wanted to come inside. _It’s pretty much your house too, Betty_.

There was a time when this house felt more like home to her than her own. Walking through that door and up the stairs to Archie’s bedroom used to be a second nature to her. She feels like a stranger here right now, more than she ever has in the last fourteen years.

It’s dark in the kitchen and living room, but she can see light shining down from the staircase. Her heart is racing in anticipation as she walks up each step. She feels like she’s on the edge and she’s seconds away from a hard, brutal fall. 

She turns the corner, and there he is. Quietly folding a shirt and placing it in the open suitcase sitting on his bed. He hasn’t noticed her yet. She can’t tell if she wants to cry or scream. There are a thousand different emotions running through her right now.

Anger wins. “Busy, Arch?”

He at least has the decency to look guilty for a moment when his head shoots up to look at her. It passes quickly, and is replaced with a neutral expression that she knows is intentional. “Betty. What are you doing here?”

She ignores the question. His attempt at nonchalance infuriates her further. The Archie Andrews she knows wouldn’t act like this; he also wouldn’t pack up and leave town without saying goodbye, especially not to her. But maybe she just doesn’t know him as well as she thought anymore.

“You know,” she starts, walking further into the room. “If you’re trying to keep a secret, maybe you should let your mom know not to spill it next time. And maybe you should also consider the fact that I can look right into your room and see what you’re doing. Or did you already forget that I live a window away?”

Archie stares at her for a moment, and she can easily tell he’s mad but trying to hold himself back. She’s always been able to read him like a book, see right through him. It’s one of the consequences of growing up together.

He looks away, back down to the shirt in his hand. Lays it down in the suitcase and picks up another one from the messy pile of clothes. He won’t look at her now. “I didn’t forget. Just didn’t think you’d even care to look.”

She knows he doesn’t even mean what he’s saying. He’s just trying to hurt her, and he knows exactly how to do it. “And why wouldn’t I care, Archie? You _really_ think I don’t care that you’re leaving tomorrow and weren’t even going to tell me?”

This gets his attention. He tosses the shirt in his hand down on the bed and finally turns to face her. “I don’t know, Betty! And how am I supposed to know? You won’t talk to me. You’ve been avoiding me for almost _two_ _weeks._ ”

Betty gapes at him. She has been avoiding him, but he can’t honestly think that means she doesn’t care. It’s quite the opposite. She cares too much, and she just doesn’t know what to do with that right now.

“So a few weeks erases fourteen years? You’re my _best friend_ , Archie.” She can’t help but raise her voice now, and she silently prays Mrs. Andrews isn’t home and can’t hear them.

Archie scoffs. “Am I?”

That stings. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Bitterness seeps into Archie’s voice. “When was the last time we had a real conversation, Betty? A conversation that wasn’t about Jughead, or Veronica, or some stupid fucking mystery. When was the last time me and you sat down and talked, as best friends?”

Betty stays silent, trying to rack her brain. She can’t even remember. Despite herself, her cheeks heat with shame.

“Exactly.” Archie says when she doesn’t speak up. He’s being so cold, Betty isn’t used to it. She hates it. “Let’s be honest, Betty. You replaced me with Jughead a long time ago.”

“So that’s what this is about? You’re jealous?” She’s _furious_. How dare he.

Archie shrugs, annoyed. “It’s not about jealousy. It’s just the truth.”

She can’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. How he can honestly be angry with her for ‘replacing’ him, as if he hadn’t done the same thing. “You have a lot of nerve saying that to me, Archie. As if you didn’t replace me with Veronica, too. In more ways than one.”

Archie gapes at her, opens his mouth to fight back. She doesn’t let him, cutting him off.

“So you’re telling me that’s the reason? Because we aren’t best friends like we used to be anymore, I don’t deserve to know you’re leaving? That’s it?”

Archie shakes his head, turning back around. Resigned, he tells her, “No, Betty. That’s not it.”

She walks forward and grabs his arm, turning him back around to face her. She’s not letting him run away from this conversation. “Then tell me why you were going to leave without saying goodbye. Without even telling me you were going.”

She looks up into his eyes. The color is so familiar to her, she thinks she would remember it for the rest of her life even if she never saw him again. When they first learned about genetics in seventh grade science class, she spent hours trying to work out which color their kids would have – his warm brown or her bright green. She always hoped they would get his eyes, because she loved them so much.

“I just thought it would be easier.”

“Easier for who?”

“You.”

Betty shakes her head in disbelief. “How would you leaving without saying goodbye be _easier_ for me?”

Archie shrugs, his coldness slowly melting away. “I thought after everything… I don’t know. I thought you wanted nothing to do with me.”

Betty softens, and the guilt slowly creeps in. She’s so tired of feeling guilty.

“I’m sorry if I made you think that, Arch. But it’s not how I feel.”

His eyes plead with hers now. “Then how do you feel?”

That’s the question, isn’t it? Betty has agonized over it for weeks, ever since she kissed Archie in his garage. She feels shame and embarrassment for cheating and getting caught. She feels heartbroken over the pain they’ve caused Jughead and Veronica. But she hasn’t allowed herself to consider how she _really_ feels about Archie. She’s been pushing those feelings away for so long, whatever they are, that she doesn’t even recognize them anymore.

She doesn’t tell him any of that. Instead she says, “I don’t know.”

“I don’t believe you.” 

“You don’t believe me,” Betty repeats sardonically.

“No. I know you better than anyone, Betty. Despite everything,” Archie starts seriously, his face hard. “And I know you’re lying to yourself. You know how you feel, you’re just too scared to admit it.”

Betty falls silent. She looks away from him once again, afraid he can see right through her like she can him. She can’t argue, because she knows he’s right. She’s fucking scared, because she was supposed to fall out of love with Archie three years ago. She still loves Jughead, even though it’s over. But she’s so afraid she loves Archie too. Deep down, she always has been.

When she doesn’t respond, Archie starts again, his frustration growing. “Fine. If you don’t want to tell me how you feel, fine. I’ll tell you how I feel.”

Betty tenses. She doesn’t know if she’s ready to hear how he feels, afraid of what the truth will unearth deep inside of her.

“I have loved you since I was eight years old, Betty. Before I even understood what love was. I haven’t always known in what way, and sometimes I still don’t even understand it. But I love you. And I _know_ I didn’t kiss you just because I feel safe or comfortable with you,” Archie’s voice softens, and Betty feels a lump form in her throat from the tears she’s holding back. “I kissed you because I felt something so strong for you that I couldn’t ignore it anymore. And I’m not sorry for it.”

Her eyes are wet now, and she tries to blink the tears away. He loves her. But he can’t — he shouldn’t. 

“I’m sorry that we hurt Jughead and Veronica. I feel horrible for that. And I’m sorry for how they found out, how humiliating it was for all of us. But I’m not sorry it happened. I guess that’s the difference between us.”

“I never said I’m sorry that it happened, Archie.” She’s not. She’s never lied to herself about that, and she won’t lie to him either. “But it doesn’t matter. None of this matters, after what we did. We ruined everything. We ruined what we had with Jughead and Veronica. We can’t ever make this okay, Archie. We’ve hurt each other, and everyone else, too much. It’s never going to work.”

“That’s an excuse, Betty, and you know it.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“You use Jughead and Veronica as an excuse to push me away. The same way you used feeling safe with each other as an excuse when we were in the bunker.” Archie is pacing the room now, frustrated.

“It’s not an excuse, Archie. I _love_ Jughead. Just because he found out and ended it, that doesn’t mean I don’t still love him.”

“And I still love Veronica. But I’m not in love with her anymore. If I was, I wouldn’t have kissed you,” Archie tells her gravely. “Have you even considered the fact that maybe that’s true for you too?”

Betty sits down on the bed next to the suitcase, puts her head in her hands. She isn’t going to answer that. She doesn’t even want to think about it right now. “This isn’t fair to them. We betrayed them. I feel guilty, every second of every day. I can’t get past it.”

“We did betray them, Betty. We did. And we were wrong for doing that, but we can’t change it now. Are we supposed to suffer forever because of it? What about what’s fair to us?”

That sets something inside of her off. He doesn’t get it – he never has.

She stands again, getting in his face. “None of this is fair, Archie. You know what else isn’t fair? I wanted you, three years ago, more than _anything_. And you broke my heart. How is it fair for you to decide now that you want me, after everything? How is that fair to me?”

He looks at her sadly. “It’s not fair, okay, I know that. But I can’t change what happened then. I’m _trying_ to fix it now. But you have to let me. You have to stop pushing me away.”

Betty doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t know how to let him, how to let go of the hurt and guilt she feels. Deep down, she knows she isn’t only worried about hurting Jughead and Veronica even more than they already have. She’s scared of getting hurt herself. Archie shattered her heart into a million pieces three years ago, and she just doesn’t know how to get past that. For a long time, she thought she already had, but the bitterness she feels when she thinks about it now tells her differently. Those wounds never did heal and leave a scar — they only scabbed over, ready to bleed the second she picked at them again.

She changes the subject, and by some miracle Archie lets her. “You never said why you’re leaving now instead of at the end of summer.”

“I called and asked if I could move in early,” Archie says, shrugging. He looks at her, somewhat hopefully. “There’s no reason for me to stay here.”

“Oh.” What else can she say?

“Unless…you can give me a reason.”

“Archie—”

Archie grabs her hands, holding them both in his own. His eyes are pleading with her. He says, frantically, “Betty, if you ask me to stay, I’ll stay. I’ll stay for summer until you leave in August, and then we can figure it out. Our schools are only five hours away from each other-”

“You looked it up?”

Archie’s expression turns sheepish. “Yes.”

Betty doesn’t even realize she’s crying until she tastes the salt from her tears. She’s overwhelmed, her chest tight. Archie is giving her a choice, and she has no idea how to make it. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Just say you want me to stay,” Archie begs, pulling their hands to his chest. “Don’t quit on me now, Betty. Give me a chance.”

She thinks of the bunker, when she told him the kiss and the sneaking around only happened because they feel safe together. Because of nostalgia. Cheryl told her she’s not in love with Archie, she’s just in love with the idea of him. She grasped that, held onto it, made sure she drilled it into her mind until she believed it. But the thought of him leaving tomorrow, the fact that he wasn’t going to say goodbye – it rips her heart out. She just can’t tell if that’s because she loves him as her best friend, or if it’s something more than that. She doesn’t know what to believe.

What she knows is, she doesn’t want to hurt anymore. Archie has always followed his heart. He’s impulsive, and he doesn’t always consider the consequences of his actions beforehand. He has tunnel vision, only seeing what’s right in front of him, blacking out everything else in the background. Betty knows he’s looking at her now, seeing all the things that could go right and none of the things that could go wrong. But Betty isn’t like that — she’s logical and cautious. She thinks with her head. Archie has broken her heart before, and he could do it again. They know everything about each other. They’ve been best friends since they were four years old. They know each other better than anyone else on the planet — they know how to push each other’s buttons, how to hurt each other more than anyone else does. And they could ruin each other, so easily. He could rip her to shreds, more than Jughead ever could. 

But she’s so tired of feeling torn apart.

So she can’t ask him to stay.

“I can’t give you the answer you want, Archie. I’m sorry.”

Archie’s face crumbles. He drops her hands. She can see the tears forming in his eyes, which makes hers fall even more. “Okay.” He’s given up. 

“I’m sorry,” she repeats, crying hard.

Archie softens. He always hated seeing her cry. He says in a resigned voice, “It’s okay, Betty.”

“Are we still friends?” Betty asks gently through her tears. They stayed friends when he rejected her three years ago, but this feels different. Worse.

She feels his hand touch her face, cupping her cheek. He raises her head, forcing her to look him in the eyes. “You’ll always be my friend, Betty.” He says it so seriously, her heart aches.

She thought ending it with him in the bunker was painful. She thought Jughead finding out was painful. But nothing is more painful than this, right now. She’s broken his heart, and now she has to say goodbye.

“Your best friend?” She asks, because she has to. Because she’s still feeling wounded from what he said before, about her replacing him.

“My best friend.” He says earnestly, silently apologizing for ever implying any different.

“I don’t want you to hate me.”

He shakes his head. “I could never hate you.”

She tells him, honestly, “I think I would have hated you if you left me without saying goodbye.”

A small, knowing smile stretches across his face. “No you wouldn’t have.”

She knows he’s right. She could never hate him, either. No matter what.

His hand is still on her face, his thumb moving across her cheek. She grasps his wrist, keeping him there. Even just for a moment more. “So this is goodbye then, I guess.”

Archie nods. His eyes are bright and beautiful from unshed tears. She thinks about seventh grade science class again. In another life, maybe.

She hugs him then, because she can’t help herself. She cries softly into his chest, his hand cupping the back of her head. She feels safe here in his arms, just like she always has. But she won’t anymore. He’s leaving tomorrow, and she’s leaving in a few months. Their paths lead to different places. Hers to Yale, his to the Naval Academy.

She thinks about when she found out he had enrolled. He hadn’t even told her himself – she had to hear it from Jughead. She was quietly panicking, furious because she was convinced this was Archie being impulsive and thoughtless again. He’d never even spoken about joining the military before. But he’s right when he says their meaningful conversations have been few and far between for a long time. Maybe she just never gave him the chance to talk about it with her. Still, the thought of him being in the military makes her sick with worry.

She pulls back, meeting his eyes again. “Please be safe, okay?”

“I will.” He smiles, but it’s strained. She knows he’s trying to hide how hurt he feels. How much she’s hurt him.

She gives him a small nod, wipes the tears from her cheeks. She tries her best not to let her voice waver when she says it.

“Bye, Arch.”

He lets go of her then, taking a step back. He never takes his eyes off her. “Bye, Betty.”

She takes one last look at him, then turns away and walks out of his room, leaving him behind. She starts crying again the second she reaches the stairs, and she doesn’t stop.

\--

Betty barely slept a wink, tossing and turning the whole night. She couldn’t turn her mind off. She knows she made the smart decision. Her and Archie – it’s not right. After everything that’s happened, they can’t be together. She can’t give him a reason to stay. It was the smart choice. So she doesn’t know why she feels so conflicted.

She glances at the clock. 7:54 a.m. She wonders what time Archie is leaving, then she wonders why she’s even wondering at all.

She stares at the ceiling in silence for a few more minutes, thinking. Convincing herself she made the right decision. Then she opens up her nightstand drawer, searching for something to tie her hair up with. Her eyes catch the little pink notebook neatly tucked away. The one diary her mom stopped her from burning. She shouldn’t read it.

She picks it up anyway and opens to the first page.

_August 20, 2017_

_Dear diary,_

_I thought it was only fitting to start a new diary for a new school year. I start my sophomore year of high school tomorrow! I got back from my internship last night. It was so amazing, but I’m happy to be home. Mostly because I finally get to see Archie tonight. I feel like I haven’t seen him in years, even though it’s only been a few months. This is the longest we’ve ever been away from each other! We’re going to Pop’s tonight. I’m excited, but nervous. I think I’m finally ready to tell him how I feel. They’re right when they say absence makes the heart grow fonder – all one summer apart did is make my feelings even stronger._

She turns the page.

_August 21, 2017_

_Dear diary,_

_Today was the first day of school. It went fine. I had to show the new girl Veronica Lodge around. She seems nice enough. She walked into Pop’s last night when I was there with Archie, and the way he looked at her… I want him to look at me like that. She asked me today if he’s my boyfriend. I told her we’re just friends, but Kevin basically warned her to stay away because we’re going to end up together one day. I didn’t say anything, but I know he’s right._

She flips through until she finds the date she’s looking for.

_August 26, 2017_

_Dear diary,_

_Archie broke my heart tonight. I finally asked him if he loves me. I couldn’t take it anymore. He told me he does love me, but he can’t give me the answer I want. He loves me but he’s not in love with me, is what he meant. And I think he kissed Veronica at Cheryl’s. I don’t understand it. I love him with everything in me, and not a single part of me doubts that he is my soulmate. He’s the most important person in my life and he always has been. I know everything about him and he knows everything about me. He told me he isn’t good enough for me and he never will be, but he’s wrong. It never could or would feel as right with anyone as it would with him. I haven’t stopped crying since I left him out front. I know he’s not trying to hurt me. I know he does love me, even if he isn’t in love with me. But deep down I know this can’t be it. It just can’t be. Maybe the timing just isn’t right at this point. But I know in my heart one day it will be. I am meant to be with Archie, and he’s meant to be with me. And when the day comes that he realizes that too, I’ll never let him go. What’s meant to be will always find a way. I know it._

Her tears hit the page, smearing the ink. She knew what would happen, even back then. So how come she never saw it coming now? And how could that version of her, the girl who wrote this, be so sure? She doesn’t feel sure of anything now. She turns the page again.

_August 28, 2017_

_Dear diary,_

_Today was a hard day. After everything that happened this weekend, I decided I needed to let go of my hurt and try to go back to normal with Archie. He’s my best friend in the world, and I never want to lose that. We walked to school together and I really thought I could do it. But then later at school, he started playing guitar and singing and I instantly broke down. It’s going to take me a lot longer to get over this than I thought. I think the hardest part was that I know he’s not thinking of me when he’s singing. When he told me last week he had started writing songs, I had this fantasy that they were about me. That he would tell me he wants to be with me and that he loves me through his music. But that’s all it is...a fantasy. The songs aren’t about me, and maybe they never will be. What if he never loves me back in the way I love him? Maybe that’s just something I’m going to have to accept as a possibility._

Betty slams the diary shut. She can barely even see through her tears now. All she can think is, _I_ _fucked up_.

Archie offered her everything she had ever wanted last night, and she said no. He wrote her a fucking _song,_ and she wouldn’t even let him finish it. Then he performed it at prom for the whole school to hear, and she was angry with him for doing so. But that’s all this version of her in the diary ever wanted. For him to show her how much he cared about her. To love her back. To be _in love_ with her. She’s changed so much since then. She wants a lot more than that now.

But it doesn’t mean she doesn’t still want that, too.

She knows now, without a doubt, that she does. Betty barely even recognizes the girl writing in that diary now, but their hearts are the same – because they’re both in love with Archie. She was just too scared to admit it to herself. All it took was this stupid diary to remind her. There have been so many times where she’s looked down on her past self. That girl was so naïve, so innocent, so _perfect_. But Betty has never been more thankful for her than she is right now.

She jumps out of bed, races to her window and throws back the curtains. Archie’s room is dark. He could still be sleeping. 

It’s then that it catches her eye. There’s something placed on the windowsill inside the room, resting against the glass. An envelope.

“No, no, no.” She races out of her room and downstairs, doesn’t even bother to change out of her pajamas. She’s panicking. When she gets to next door, she walks through the side door the same way she did the night before. Archie’s mother is eating breakfast in the kitchen. She looks up in surprise when the door opens, but her face relaxes into a smile when she sees who it is. “Betty!”

“Mrs. Andrews, is Archie still here?” She can hear the fear in her own voice. Deep down, she already knows the answer.

Mrs. Andrews’ face just confirms it. She frowns, and Betty knows. She’s too late. “I’m sorry, honey. His bus left at six this morning.”

Betty tries to collect herself. She doesn’t want to break down in front of her. She knows once she starts crying, she won’t be able to stop. She’s ruined everything, again. “Okay,” she says. “Okay.”

Mrs. Andrews walks towards her, a sympathetic look on her face. She squeezes her shoulder affectionately. “I know this is hard for you both. You’ve never been apart for very long. Archie was a mess, too.”

Of course he was. Betty nods. She can’t talk about this right now. She needs to go upstairs. She knows that envelope is for her. “Would it be okay if I went up to Archie’s room? I think I left something when I was here last night.”

“Of course. I was just about to take Vegas for a walk. I should be back in about 20 minutes. Feel free to stay as long as you want.”

Betty doesn’t know if she’s seen the envelope or knows why Betty is really here, but she silently thanks her for excusing herself.

She’s filled with dread as she walks up the stairs, so different than the anger she felt the night before.

His room doesn’t look much different, only a little emptier. He must not have taken much with him. There’s still posters on the wall, pillows on the bed, the punching bag hanging from the ceiling, photos above his desk. The pictures of the two of them still stare back at her, except one that’s missing. He must have taken it with him. Her heart aches.

She wonders if she should call him, beg him to get off the bus and get on the first one back to Riverdale. She wants to tell him how wrong she was. She’s been in love with him for the last ten years. She’s not in love with the idea of him, or how safe she feels with him, she’s in love with _him_. He would come back for her, she knows it. But she also knows that wouldn’t be fair. She had her chance. She didn’t take it. He’s well on his way to a new life now.

She looks to the envelope sitting on the window. The front is blank, but it’s not like it could be for anyone else. He left it on the window for a reason.

She picks it up and sits down on the bed. There are already tears welling in her eyes before she even opens it. She pulls out a piece of paper and unfolds it.

_Betty –_

_I stayed up all night thinking about our conversation. Repeating what I said and what you said over and over in my head. I don’t take anything back. When I told you how I feel, I meant it. But I shouldn’t have pushed you to make a decision. I’m sorry. Just because I already know how I feel, it isn’t right for me to force you to figure out how you feel. You have to do that on your own, the same way I did over the past three years. I know you still love Jughead. And maybe I’m wrong and you don’t love me too. Maybe I missed my chance. That’s just something I’ll have to learn to live with if it’s true. I wish I could go back to that night of the dance three years ago and tell myself that I would feel this way one day. It sure would have made things a lot easier and less painful for all of us. But that’s not the way life works, so it just is what it is._

_I’m sorry for the way everything happened and the hurt I caused you. And the hurt we caused Jughead and Veronica. Even though I don’t regret anything that’s happened between us, it kills me that they hate me now. I know it kills you too. And I know I accused you of just using them as an excuse. I was angry when I said that. But I do understand. I get it, Betty. You don’t have to be sorry. I’m sitting here now wondering if maybe this is all for the best and I just don’t know it yet. Maybe our timing just isn’t right. Maybe it will never be (I hope not). Maybe it will be years from now (I hope so). I just don’t know._

_When I told you I was leaving without saying anything because I thought it would be easier for you, I lied. I was doing it because I knew it would be easier for me. Truth is I don’t know how to say goodbye to you. I did it and somehow I still don’t know how. You’ve always been just a sidewalk away since I was four years old. I don’t know how to deal with the fact that that isn’t true anymore. I don’t know what comes next. I don’t know when I’ll be back to Riverdale, or when I’ll see you again. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow or a year from now. But I meant it when I said you’ll always be my best friend. You’re the most important person in my life no matter what. That’s not going to change. I love you, Betty._

_See you when I see you._

_\- Archie_

Betty’s head pounds from how hard she’s crying. She’s terrified she just lost the best thing that ever could have happened to her. If she had given in, stopped being so fucking scared and just admitted to herself and him how she feels last night, would things have been different? He would have stayed for her. But maybe, no matter what, they’d end up right back here. Both hurting and heartbroken. Maybe the end result would have been the same either way. She doesn’t know, she never will. She just has to trust in her heart that he’s right, that their time will come. How can it not? After everything they’ve been through together, how can they not get their shot?

The girl Archie rejected three years ago on her front porch knew he would come back to her one day – _what’s meant to be will always find a way_. She doesn’t put much stock in clichés like that anymore. She’s much too jaded now. But maybe she was right all along, back then. Like Archie said, they just have to wait and see. It’s all they can do at this point.

She slows her breathing, trying to calm herself down. She wipes the tears from her cheeks and takes a deep breath. She looks down at the letter in her hands and then to the envelope sitting on the bed. She didn’t notice before, but there’s something else folded inside.

When she sees what it is, she lets out a sob. She looks at the messily written words, some crossed out and rewritten. The scribbles all over the page. The little misshapen heart drawn in the right corner that makes her smile through her tears.

_There's no warning when everything changes_

_You let down your guard and I saw something strange_

_I thought ‘she’s not made for this world and neither am I’_

_Cause you make me wanna be stronger than I am_

_And maybe I'm reaching_

_Misplacing a feeling_

_There's no way to know but to try_

_So give me tonight_

_I don't know much_

_But I know this feels right_

_So give me tonight_

_If you carry the torch_

_I’ll follow the light_

_I’ll follow the light_

**Author's Note:**

> [read part two](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24281452)


End file.
